## The first Conversation
I had spent fifteen minutes thinking of what to message her. Priya Yamini the new interest in my life. I was actually expecting something from her when i didn’t even know who the hell she exactly is. I was getting hyper. I could here Raajan humming tunes of the most idiotic Bollywood songs, while brushing his teeth. He strolled into my room and i quickly closed the tab in which my account was open i couldn’t have let him see who i was trying to send a message to.
‘You’ve been acting weird since morning, saying all kinds of rubbish and nonsense. What’s the matter?’ inquired Raajan with a suspicious look on his face.
‘Nothing bro! Just a little energetic today….’ i said and shrugged my shoulders and looked into the monitor screen again.
I finally came to the decision that messaging so quickly would make me look desperate and pretty much like a psychopath. So i dropped the plan of messaging her. But i was frequently checking her account every other minute. What the heck was happening to me!? Raajan was with me in the room sitting on the bed chatting with someone. He was smiling wide, i could tell it was probably Priya. She was online too. I didn’t feel comfortable anymore. What was the origin of this discomfort? I was perhaps slightly jealous of him. I opened up my inbox and kept thinking the same thing over and over. What should i text her. When should i text her. Should i even text her. Finally after such a long and problematic debate over the matter with the imaginary experts in my head i came to the decision that i won’t text her, not now at least i won’t. However i could disrupt their comfy chat with ease. So i did it.
‘Hey bro. Wanna check out this amazing MMS?’ I said cheekily and played the video i had taken on the terrace.
‘Not now i’m busy’ he said
‘It’s your favourite category, kissing scene.’
‘Really?’ he said getting excited. Such a pervert!
‘But…..i’m busy now’ he said and drowned into the phone screen again.
I thought of making the ‘moans’ audible, and turned up the volume.
As soon as he heard the sound he quickly dashed towards me and lunged at my phone and watched with sheer enjoyment.
‘Yep’ i laughed and snatched my phone from him and ran out into the hall.
‘Give it back you bloody luny toon! How dare you do that!’ he screamed and lunged at me from a distance but failed and fell on his chest.
‘I am not giving it to you.’ i laughed again. I couldn’t help but enjoy watching that helpless and miserable look on his face.
‘please Kartik! Delete it!’ he said crawling towards me.
I was still laughing and all of a sudden he sprang up to his feet and caught me off guard and Batista bombed me hard on the marble floor. I always hated it when he tested those bloody WWE moves on me. But this time it was for real. I was in pain. He proudly picked up the phone. And just as he was about to delete it, i played the mind games.
‘you delete it and i’ll post it online and i’ll show it to Priya, i swear! I have many copies of that in my computer, locked and hidden out of sight only i know where they are.’ i said, even though had zero copies.
Raajan’s face turned pale. His finger hovered over the delete button, frozen out of shock. He probably knew i was playing mind games and just messing around. But he also feared the fact that i might possibly have the copies.
‘Fine. What do you want?’ he said frustrated and tossed the phone to me.
‘Nothing much. Just go out and play with old friends.’
‘What? That’s it?’
‘Do what i said’
He walked out of the main door holding my bat. I smiled like a devilish villain and jumped on to my feet. My back hurt but it was worth it.
I checked his phone and found the messenger app locked. I didn’t care much about what the topic of conversation was.
I was now sitting in front of the computer. Thinking of the same things over and over. I had no idea what i had just done. Why did i do all this? Maybe because my inner self seeks female interaction. But still what i did was savage. Something only an animal would, preventing other males from talking to females, as if i was an alpha male. Now i couldn’t control myself anymore. I didn’t care then if she thought of me as an immature desperate psychopath. I just had to talk to her now.
I logged in, opened up the inbox and now i was seeing the chat screen. I gathered all of my strength and might, and typed ‘hi’ and sent it to her. It was sent. She was online. And it was seen quite quickly.
She started typing. I was expecting a message with the words like ‘freak’, ‘creep’, ‘idiot’ and what not. But the message was rather tender.
‘Hey’ she replied
I had no idea what I should have said next. But my hands vaguely hovered over the keyboard and automatically typed some pathetic reply.
‘Hey there. Remember me? Raajan’s brother. The one who picked your call?’ i replied
‘yes of course i do’ she replied
‘So what’s up?’ me hands shook tremendously
‘Nothing much just chatting with friends’ she replied 2 minutes later
‘So how do you know Raajan?’
‘we go to the same school’
‘So the two of you are classmates?’
‘so is there anything between you two?’
She didn’t reply for a few minutes. I panicked and sent another message.
‘Sorry i didn’t mean to offend. I just asked’
‘What’s there to be sorry about? There nothing between us’
‘you weren’t replying so i thought you got upset’
‘no i didn’t. Mother had called me for some work’
‘So tell me more yourself’
‘ask what you want to know’
‘are you single?’
‘Umm you can say that’
‘what do you mean i can say that?’
‘Nothing. I am single’
Now my mind had become severely intoxicated with evil plans of ruining all of Raajan efforts. But my conscience pulled me back. I thought of helping him. I reminded myself of the truth that I wasn’t attracted to her in anyway. It was just some idiotic feeling in me. I thought of telling her about Raajan’s feelings. I had no idea back then, of how idiotic snd immature this act was. It would have been much better if she had known this from Raajan himself and not from a third person. But according to what i had seen in Raajan, he had enough the courage to approach a girl, but he could never have told her thst he loved her. It took him 3 years to tell Ashima that he liked her. And that too was just a decision. I was the one to convey the message to her. I analyzed all the possibilities and decided that I should tell her what Raajan felt about her, despite the consequences.
‘i need you to be honest about what i am going to ask you. And in return i’d tell you something.’ i tyoed and sent her. My hands firmer than before.
‘Ok. But my honesty depends on what your question is. I won’t expose personal stuff of course.’ she replied
‘yeah i am fine with that.’ i replied and took a pause
‘so go on. Ask me’
‘Do you like Raajan?’
She had seen my message. But she didn’t reply for several minutes. I was waiting patiently. I had not done or said anything wrong. She was probably figuring out the possibilities of telling me the truth. I might convey this information to Raajan, she must have thought. And it was true. I was going to tell him about all this of course. And she must be knowing it too. With what i knew, i already had a hunch that she would lie about her feelings. She would probably say ‘no’. And so she did. I wasn’t surprised.
‘No’ she replied after 7 long minutes
‘Ok. I won’t ask any further questions. I would only tell you a few things.’ i texted
‘Ok, go on.’
‘Raajan likes you.’
‘yes. He likes you a lot’
‘but i thought he had a girlfriend’
‘Well. I don’t have anything to say about this’
‘I understand. I just had to tell you this. Because he would never have the courage to say this’
‘Well to be honest. I like him too’
‘yes. But how can I trust you?’
‘I have no proof. But i can only say this that he likes you.’
‘I can only blindly believe then’
‘Well i know that he already has a girlfriend’
‘for the final time. He doesn’t! He is single! He does have an ex girlfriend but you don’t habe to worry about that.’
‘Ok. So what now?’
‘I’ll help you i guess. By telling you about him and stuff but for now let’s end this topic here.’
‘So Tell me about yourself’
‘I am a girl’
‘I know that! Something else’
‘what something else?’
‘anything. Like what kinda songs do you listen to?’
‘english and Hindi both.’
‘oh me too.’
‘What serials do you watch?’
‘Dont laugh. Jodha Akbar.’
‘Hahaha. Lol. Seriously? Jodha Akbar?’
‘Yeah of course why not. It’s good.’
‘yeah yeah it’s good. But still lol! Hahaha’
‘Fine laugh all you want’ i was smiling then. Thinking of how she must be sounding while laughing out loud like a careless baby. How radiating her smile must be. It was nice chatting with a girl.
‘so what are you doing now?’ i texted
‘Nothing just making some snacks for myself’
‘I gotta go. Ttyl bye.’
‘wait wait wait!’
‘it was nice talking to you. And thank you’
‘thank you for?’
‘For telling me all that you told me’
‘so i guess we are friends now’
‘sure we are’
She then went offline. I read the word ‘friends’ for like literally umpteen times. It had been quite a few years since i had been ‘friends’ with a girl. Approximately 8 years to be precise. She was still Raajan’s. She liked Raajan. Not me. I didn’t csre about all that. I was happy being her friend. After all i didn’t like her romantically. I just wanted to be her friend. Or did i?
The conversation went quite well. I waiting for her to come back online. But she didn’t. Finally it was afternoon now and time for lunch. Raajan came back all sweaty and drenched.
‘You won’t post it!’ he said still huffing and puffing.
‘I wouldn’t but you would do whatever i say, and whenever i say.’ I said
‘Fine. As long as i don’t feel like a slave. You should have come with me to play though.’
‘I had chores to do’
‘like what? Making more copies of that video’
‘No. I have better work to do.’
‘yeah whatever’ he said and went into the bathroom to wash his face.
I logged out of my account and sat down for lunch. Father wasn’t at home. And mother was out for some work too. We were home alone. I served the food and we ate in silence. The TV being switched we were focusing only on our food. However i was still thinking about the conversation i had just had.
I thought of asking Raajan about what he is planning next. He must not hurt Priya. I wouldn’t let him play around with her feelings. Anyone could have told that Priya was a nice a genuine girl. I understood that in no time. Despite of our conversation being extremely, i could vaguely tell what kind of girl she was. So i though no more and blurted out the words.
‘What is between the two of you?’ I asked Raajan. I had no idea how i would react to either of his answers.
‘Why? We are just friends now’ he said drawing his eyes away from mine.
‘Do you genuinely like her?’
‘Yes I do’
His voice was suspicious.
‘Look brother. I know what you are. You are a guy who gets girls for timepass, maximum times. Even though you don’t tell me. I know what kind of debacles you have created. But not anymore. You won’t hurt her.’
‘I legitimately like her Kartik! How can you even think of such ill things?’
‘I am just making sure brother’
‘Don’t. Just don’t. Don’t make promises. Prove what you have to prove.’ I interrupted him
‘Trust me i won’t do anything wrong’
‘We’ll see. Because if you do, you,’ll lose the respect i have for you. I still have faith in the better side of you brother. Don’t let me down’
‘I won’t’ his voice shook
I had acted maturely. I had no idea where all those words came from. That feeling was strange. A tingle in my palms. A buzz in my brain. I can’t explain. Now i was officially even more perplexed and vague about my feelings for her.
I didn’t have feelings for Priya Yamini, or DID I?